Have Yourself A paranormal Christmas!
by Jackalkat
Summary: Dib tries to catch Santa and Gir knits Zim a sweater! al in all a very Merry Christmas! !*caution*! done under the influence of too much chocolate!!
1. Default Chapter

Have Yourself a Paranormal Christmas  
  
  
  
Discaimy thingie: this is not mine. if it was I'd be in a swimming  
  
Pool full of cash right now. it all belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
Have a merry x-mas Jhonen!!!  
  
  
  
Dib sat on the couch watching Mysterious Mysteries listening  
  
To Santa Encounters. Announcer: Is Santa REAL??  
  
We have obtained footage of this mysterious jolly man at work, but is it  
  
Real? We're counting on you the viewer to obtain evidence to see if Santa really exists or not!! That's all for today's show!  
  
credits roll  
  
Dib: I knew it all along!! Santa is real, and I'm gonna capture him for proof!!  
  
Gaz: you're such a lunatic. Sometimes, I wonder why I don't send you to an  
  
Asylum.  
  
Dib: But. SANTA!! He's REAL!! I'll prove it Gaz!! You'll see!  
  
Gaz: Yeah, just don't ruin Christmas, or you WILL pay.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile in Zim's home.  
  
Zim: GIR!! What ARE you doing?  
  
Gir: I'm decorating the Christmas tree!!  
  
Zim: I see, and where did you get this TREE?  
  
Gir: Oh, it was sittin in someone's yard.  
  
Jhonen: *Looking at a stump where a cedar tree used to sit and raises a brow then scowls* Someone will pay dearly.  
  
Zim: Ok, Whatever. inspects the tree then touches it Ow!!! It bit me!!! Prepares to tackle it but Gir stands his guard over the tree Fine then Gir. we will keep this tree,  
  
But only since it's Christmas!  
  
Gir: YAY!!  
  
The Next Day.  
  
There's a knock on the membrane's door and Dib rushes down and opens it.  
  
Dib: Yes.?  
  
Delivery guy: Here's your giant steel cage you ordered sir!  
  
Dib: rubs his hands together evilly great!! *Signs the form and drags the box in*  
  
Gaz: *Walking in the room* What's that?  
  
Dib: trying to come up with an answer Uhhhh, it's my new copier/fax machine!!  
  
Gaz: Whatever. Just don't try and get me to help you carry it upstairs. *Starts playing her  
  
Game slave*  
  
  
  
Heyyy. So far what do ya think? Huh huh?? Gimme reviews or I will explode!!! 


	2. Christmassy Tango of Doom!!

Christmassy Tango of Doom  
  
Soon the trap was all set and ready in the fireplace to catch Old Saint Nick.  
  
Dib: I'm going catch Santa Finally!! Nothing paranormal can escape me!! *And grabbed a big bucket of water and rushed onto the room pouring it all nice and even around the chimney watching it freeze instantly* that takes care of that. Now to fix the tranquilizer laced cookies and the milk with sleeping powder put in it!!  
  
At Zim's house.  
  
*A knock is heard at the door*  
  
Gir: I'll get it!! *Answers the door and stares at awe upon seeing his creator*  
  
Jhonen: I think Zim left this in my yard.. *holds out a mini ray gun which was used to cut down his precious tree*  
  
Gir: *turning his head towards the kitchen* MASTER IT'S FOR YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!  
  
Zim: Ok ok, I'm coming!!! *Rises out of the toilet and stops in midstep from getting down as he sees Jhonen* Hello, Jhonen is it time for a raise already?  
  
Jhonen: No, I don't think so, But I did find this. *Holds out a pinkish purple ray gun*  
  
Beside where my prize winning Evergreen once stood when it is now just a piece of wood sticking out of the ground!  
  
Zim: *gulp* That was. YOUR tree? DON'T HURT ME!!! I BEG OF YOU ALMIGHTY KNOWING JHONEN!! Cowers before Jhonen, kissing his feet*  
  
Jhonen: *raises an eyebrow* Oh that won't cut it this time.  
  
Zim: HAVE MERCY!! HHHAAAAAAVVEEE MMMEEERRRCCYYY!!! I was young and foolish!!  
  
Jhonen: You STILL are.  
  
Back to Dib.  
  
Dib: *After finishing his fail proof snack for Santa he sits in his room reading comics*  
  
Hahaha!! Santa shall be mine to dissect!!  
  
Gaz: *hearing this* I still can't believe your trying to catch Santa!! How juvenile are you? And you'd better hope I find an undamaged Game Slave 3-D console system under the Tree and not a fat Jolly unconscious weirdo!!  
  
Dib: yeah, whatever Gaz.  
  
Dib Then goes to his Bed and prepares o wait for Santa Claus.  
  
Back to Zim and Mr. Vasquez.  
  
Zim: *in Jhonen's car* Where are we going Jhonen? *Looks at him expectantly*  
  
Jhonen: We're going to my place to pick up some nice holiday decorations.  
  
Zim: *Sighing in relief*  
  
Jhonen: don't get to relaxed. You don't know my plans just yet!!  
  
*Swerves into his driveway with a thud from knocking down a nearby garbage can*  
  
Man, I do that every time!  
  
Zim: *quipping a response* maybe if you didn't go so fast.  
  
Jhonen: Don't tell me how to drive, little mister!  
  
Zim: *quickly hushes up* yes sir.  
  
Jhonen wraps several seat belts around Zim who is struggling and biting them  
  
in order to release himself.  
  
Dib's house.  
  
Dib: *hearing clomping sounds on the roof* he's finally here!!  
  
Then hears a thud on the roof and something sliding then lots of weight colliding  
  
With the thorned rose bushes that surround the house and looks out the window*  
  
O_O.  
  
Dib sees several reindeer planted firmly in the snow-covered ground feet first, head first etc.  
  
Santa is also seen throwing a fit and cursing many obscenities about blasted ice  
  
And his now crippled reindeer.  
  
Dib: That was unexpected. *then hears a ladder slam against the side of the house  
  
And a creak as Santa's heavy body steps onto it*  
  
Gaz is unaware of this also as she is playing Zelda on her N64 at full blast and Prof. Membrane walks in the door exhausted and discovers yummy cookies and milk that he thinks are for him.  
  
Dib: *Rushes downstairs in time to see his dad polishing off a delicious snack* Auugghh!! My dad has eaten the bait!! Oh well. the cage is still left ^___^  
  
And soon a thump is heard as Santa lands down the Chimney and a clang as he is caught in the steel trap.  
  
Santa: *looking at Professor Membrane out cold then at the obvious fault standing before him* Come on and let me out of here little boy!!  
  
Dib: No WAY!! You're going on an autopsy table right after Christmas day!!  
  
I'm going see what makes you tick!!  
  
Santa: But I'm just Santa!!  
  
Dib: Well, Mr. Claus, What about your ability to make reindeer fly, climb down chimneys that are impossibly small for your weight and you ability to deliver presents to everyone on Earth on one single night?? Huh?!  
  
Santa: Well. I.  
  
Dib: That's right. You ARE paranormal!!  
  
Professor Membrane soon wakes up to find Santa inside a cage and Dib staring evilly at the jolly one.  
  
Prof membrane: What's going on here son?! *Goes and releases Santa from his little prison*  
  
Dib: Santa is paranormal and I was trying to catch him!!  
  
Professor Membrane: Now son, that's no way to treat an international icon!!  
  
*Looks at Santa* pleeeeeaaaaasssssee tell me I got the dinosaur house shoes and  
  
Creepy crawlers set I asked for!! I've been a good boy!!  
  
Santa: *Rolls his eyes* Now you'll just have to see what you got on Christmas day professor.  
  
Back to Zim.  
  
Jhonen: *Returning with a roll of holiday lights and a bag of stuff* Ok time to get this done. heheh.  
  
Zim: *getting frustrated* I demand to know exactly what's going on here!!  
  
Jhonen ignores him and drives to the center of the town where a huge decorated tree sits  
  
And grabs Zim.  
  
Dib: *Watching Santa leave to make his other deliveries* Darn! I was this close!!  
  
Professor Membrane: it's time for you to go to bed now Dib, so you can open your presents early tomorrow morning!!  
  
Dib: Yes, dad.  
  
Professor Membrane: And tell your sister she needs to go to bed as well.  
  
Dib: ok, sure Dad! *Yawns and climbs the steps wearily to his bedroom*  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Jhonen is done snapping a rather large shackle to the base of the tree with Zim on the other end fuming and ranting while wearing rather tight velvet with white trim Speedos with fake mistletoe on one side, and a Santa hat and pointy fake elf ears and ops it off  
  
Buy planting a sign reading, "Kiss the Elf".  
  
Jhonen: I'd better get going now. Roman and me are throwing a huge Christmas party  
  
With. *quivers from excitement* EGGNOG!! *Gets in his car and drives off*  
  
Zim: *seething* Some Day I will get my Revenge, Jhonen C. Vasquez!!  
  
The next day.  
  
The Membranes are up and opening their presents.  
  
Dib: Wow!! I got an alien radar wristwatch; a new set of walkie-talkies, some awesome Marylin boots (what I'm getting for X-mas also. Muhaha!) and an awesome Alien 3 computer game!!  
  
Gaz: Cool. I'm just glad I have my new 3-D game slave console! *Murmurs baby talk to it which causes dib and Membrane to silently question her sanity*  
  
Professor Membrane: Well I'm glad this Christmas went well, and especially that I got  
  
My Creepy Crawlers set and my Dinosaur house slippers and look!! They roar!! *steps down and the slippers emit a cheesy sounding roar effect*  
  
Back to our dear Zimmy.  
  
Zim: *shivering* Man this couldn't get any worse.*Then sees a huge group a fan girls  
  
Swarming his way to give him kisses and probably even molest.* NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
*Soon an angered shout is heard all across the Merry town as Dib's Father discovers the medical bill for the reindeer Old Saint Nick left*  
  
The End!! Merry Christmas!! Dib: I'm still going to catch Zim!! MMUUUAAHHH!!  
  
*Chases a frantic Zim around the tree*  
  
  
  
Did you likey?? R&R!!! 


End file.
